The weirdness of my life

As a mommy, I sometimes find myself saying the most bizarre things...
Some of my recent favorites are....

How in the world did you guys make such a mess over night???

No you don't have to wear underwear, but you need pants on.

How in fact does a dog six inches high reach a ceiling tile to pull it down?

As long as you are peeing in the house, You are the pee getter of the house, so get started on the mess the puppy just made.

Stop spinning on the cat food lid

No you are not allowed to ride my basket down the stairs, I don't care if your dad thinks it's funny.

Well tell the voices to hush, they are getting on your mother's nerves.

It doesn't really matter how your shirt got soaked in pee, I hear you saying you did not pee on it, but it does have to be washed so hand it over.

Get off the pond, we live in East Tennessee, it's not that frozen. (followed by, Well I guess I'll be driving your soaking wet self to school!)


Who colored the dog?

If you are going to color the dog, atleast use boy colors for the boy dog. Rufus looks silly pink.

Why is your mouth all fizzy?

quickly followed by....

No it's not candy! It's my bath stuff from Kristie!!!!

Stop licking your sister

Will you please god stop burying my spoons????

Ok, who's barking?

Why is there icing in the bag of cat food?

My favorite conversation of the day actually came from my 3 year old nephew, Micah...

Micah "me getting dressed"

Me: Micah say "I'm getting dressed"

Micah "you getting dressed Jessi?"

Me: No Micah I'm not getting dressed, you are.

Micah "yeah me getting dressed"

Me: Say I'm getting dressed Micah.

Jessi is getting dressed...

AHHHHHHH!!!! Me give me give me give!