You know you are Jessica when

You drive to the store at 8 pm for ridiculously priced goat cheese to eat with fig preserves and crackers. After hours of the kids driving you nuts you turn all the clocks ahead one hour so you can put them to bed. Shhhh... You spend as much on pet food as you do human food. You write sad stories, but are always hopeful. You have sizes 3-12 in your closet, and they all fit you from time to time, and sometimes within the same two week period. You avoid humans like the plague, but when they make their way in, you never ever let them go. There are people, who have saved your life, but you are unable to give them credit. You hate Idaho, and have turned all Idaho wear into bird toys.

You are slow to anger, fast to hurt, easy to break, impossible to destroy. Loves Ingrid Michaelson You panic at 3 am every single morning with your heart pounding and you can't breathe, and the world is overwhelmingly painful...and then you cry yourself awake So um yeah, you hate sleeping and most often only do it during the day. And so people sometimes accuse you of being lazy. And that's ok, because they don't know your nights. You love, but cannot currently have beer, GOOD BEER, high quality, perfectly brewed, 8 dollars a glass beer! You sleep with a pile of kids, cats, and dogs and love every second of it. You eat fig and goat cheese pizza. You are always cold in your toes, but hot everywhere else so you wear extra socks and no jacket. Will Ferrell can ALWAYS make you laugh. You can quote Elf and Stepbrothers like it ain't nobody's business. Anna Nalick always makes you cry. Cheese is your favorite Eminem is your favorite lyricist but you can't hardly share him because he is foul mouthed between excellent lyrics. You love your Northridge Community Church family and hope that you see in my bluntness, God's grace that they show to me every single day!!!!! I hope you don't hold it against them. I am definitly the absolute example of "she did _______________________ and she's a Christian...the answer, "yes I did, and yes I am". You have children of the heart, and children who made your hiney bigger. And you love them all the same. Regardless of where you carried them ;0)